What a waste!

Are you seeking questions

while coming on my way?

Not getting enough answers

and running away?

Or are you getting astrayed?

Yes, I can see,

You had questions and you came,

Or simply had to play a few games?

Whate'er..

If you still seek those questions,

And if my wits are sheer,

it seems to me very clear,

They're to be dealt by me without fear,

Then don't go hither n' thither,

spreading your ego's feather,

You'll get all the answers,

If you happen to be,

Really real,

Before me at least..

Otherwise,

What a waste!

Me, a schizo

They say,

I'll remain the same,

for the rest of my life..

It has turned to be

resistant, no cure..

I'll remain the same,

they're so sure,

and so am I,

for I don't mind

as for me, things

have always been

so obscure..

I see what others cannot,

I hear what goes unheard,

I talk with my

own imagination,

and now I even

write till dawn,

though I've to run again in

the morning to avoid being

called a moron..

In fact, I suffer

from schizophrenia,

a shy love..

And I don't mind

being one..

I see n' feel colors

which others

cannot!

So tender..

To tend to tiny sapling,

so tender..

To tend a day old pup,

so tender..

And watch them grow

each day..

bit by bit..

To find real love

being bestowed

upon,

Is there still

left anything,

to desire and

to share with anyone?

Do I need you?

Do I need you?

I often ask myself,

Only to find,

I'm needed by so many,

Why do I ask myself,

Such foolish question?

I've passed that age,

No longer that stage,

Why such things

happen in first place?

After all,

I believe in reality,

And my poems

should not always

lead blindly to day dream,

for there's much more

to explore n' achieve

going upstream..

Money I've never

desired, nor fame

was ever my game.

Love had never been

my cup of tea.

So, I used to sit

under a tree and see,

the world through

my eyes, trying

to hear my own

inner cries, waiting

for a perfect dawn

to arise, which

no one seemed

to understand and

were simply surprised.

At last,

I gave up, and

joined the world

in what they said..

I was gasping,

I suppose.

I still gasp,

but I know now,

I'm my own strength,

I no more need

anyone.

I'm what,

I search no more..

And I agreed!

I asked my darling hubby,


If ever I fall in love with a guy,


Who just fancies me since days long gone by,


And suppose, 


If he happens to propose me some day,


What will you do?


And to my amazement he said,


When are you with me, dear?


I always see you with him


In your poetry on web without shame or fear,


And if ever you happen to be with him,


You'll never be with him so near..


Moreover, if he were for real,


He would have long back asked you, 


Let me make you very clear..


And I agreed! 


[Oh my God, again a delusion?]

Thoughts defy all..

Strangers forever or friends to depart?


An unsolved mystery or a fate from start?


A longing so painful or a meeting apart?


A song of joy or a dirge for dead?


I'm or I'm not?


I see you or don't?


I know,


A measured distance always exists,


Though thoughts defy all..


They just feel like slapping someone,


for creating delusions so tall!

Diary asks..

A diary kept on table is silent today,


Otherwise pages ten were filled each day.


She asks me the reason?


What to say?


It seems my worth was only this much,


to keep n' forever save..

Sit n' simply hear..

I wonder what remains when one is gone?


Yes, if one happens to see who're bygone!


No one dares to go in such depths to trace n' tear,


I'm on the way with shadows without a fear.


But the problem is,


They're now fed up!!!


So, I've to sit n' simply hear..

As pious as ever..

So many unfathomable happenings...


How many will I remember?


How many will go with me to ashes?


How many will remain in ashes thrown into river?


How many will river evaporate into air?


And how many will come back to earth to be imbibed then n' 


there?


Oh, How many times will I remember?


Let them be engulfed into the depths of time,


Assimilated into the atmosphere,


For I know one thing,


Whatever may happen to them,


They'll remain as pious as ever..

Buy with Money?

Cheap Mentality:
Can it be changed with money?

Character:
Can it be improved with money?

Virtues:
Can it be bought with money?

Happiness, as we all know cannot
be bought,
though expected a lot..

Still, people never fail to buy
people with money..

Oh yes, one more thing,

True Love disappears with money,

Never ever try to buy it..

no more shy..

As bougainvillea waltz
in the morning sunlight
bathing balcony, 


Cuckoo's melody
resonating the air,


Boughs touching 
the brilliant blue sky,


Ambitions face the 
sun saying,


We're no more shy..

life time..

Stories 
            mingled 
                           into 
                                  one...
                                            A life time.. 

Whatever..

Whatever I am
Whatever I may be


The breeze may blow
from right or left
The sun may go down
The stars may fail to shine
And the moon may not smile


What if,
The whole nature 
goes against my
wishes and turns
brightest to dark


Let me be the light
unto myself,
not affected by
the song or mourn
of the lark



Whatever I am
Whatever I may be


I'll always remember thee..

BALANCED

I heard
some where...
.
.
.
"One 
should 
always 
try to 
remain 
in the
same mental 
state, 
that is,
BALANCED
and
UNAFFECTED
under all
conditions",
.
.
.
I'm practicing 
the same.

Fair weather friends!

Just for a day
when I had fever
and was not able to
be on net,
not able to go
for work,
only cleared up
my cupboard to
find some old
poems of
my school days..,
.
.
.
.
my friends left me.
Fair weather friends!

My water color painting..

I tried..

Poet not to be taken seriously..

Your sending me away as you always do.
Your too difficult to get along with,
Only you know what goes in your mind,
Anyways, this is my page,
I'll write whenever I feel like,
Not bothering who comes and goes
One thing is certain,
I'll never take you seriously!

I've to go..

I have a life,
a real one,
am neglecting..
Now painful,
imposing burdens,
am going back..
The journey of poetry/prose
an opportunity..
Thanks for sharing words,
an entirely different world..
But now my real world calling,
I've to go..

Searching colors..

Searching for colors,

Sometimes in innocent smiles

Sometimes in resting for awhile

Sometimes in dull books

Sometimes in clearing those crooked nooks

Sometimes in washing and cleaning

Sometimes in searching some word meaning

Sometimes in shouting for a petty thing

Sometimes in obsessing to get a bling

Sometimes in weeping for no evident reason

Sometimes in preparing for the coming season

The colors in the sky

The colors near by

The colors that don't dry

Are the colors we choose to apply

Still sometimes we see

our most favorite color fly, 

bidding us a final good bye....?

A crack..

A crack in the wall

permitted a monster inside?

Dependence?

I've my money, 


I'll buy!


You cannot ask then why..


Yes, you cannot deny..


Last time, 


I asked you for something,


you just gave a sigh..


Now, I can splurge on those bright things,


If not now, then when in life,


say, when?


My youthful days are already saying me bye..

He doesn't love me?

Why doesn't he stop me?


Why doesn't he say anything?


Why he never fights with me or scolds me?


Why he never asks what I've been doing?


Why he doesn't feel jealous?


Why doesn't he show his possessiveness?


I wish, he did all..


To hold me back..


It simply irritates me..his too much of goodness..!!!!


Or is it simply that,


He doesn't love me?


May be, 


I find all the right reasons,


and he has no reason at all..

Poetry is healing..

During eleven years of life spent with him..


It's not that he doesn't care,
He goes a step ahead than me in duties..


It's not that he has ever abused me,
He's the most sober person I've ever met..


It's not he has any manly vices,
He has no drinking habit or had any affairs..


It's not that he doesn't love me,
He may not say a word but his actions prove..


Children cannot apart a moment from him,
for he's the most loving father I've ever seen..


He's the most sacrificing person in my life,
and I cannot imagine hurting him..


It's just that a stranger happened to leave 
an everlasting effect on my tender psyche,
now poetry is healing.. 


what else..?


I don't know!

HELL has a perfect definition..

Amid distractions the dead soul gasps while


grey silhouettes provide presumptions of fate.


Dawn shies away from depths of silence as


darkness percolates the stillness of air.


Floating despair haunts the deserted minds.


Wet paths dried in heated agony traumatize


the ragged memories to leave their remnants.


HELL has a perfect definition..

♥You're My Love♥

Unsure of myself,
I allowed my being to sleep..


Today's dawn has brought 
a golden assurance to my belief,
That I'm Yours..


My psyche runs 
to you a thousand times,
When I'm in your memories..


I'm awaken to realize,  
the need of your 
presence besides me..


An urge to put innumerable kisses all over,
Only to be engulfed in you..


I Love you 
n' You're my Love..♥

I'm on my way..

 

Unheard whispers echo far and wide in the air

to suddenly appear and disappear, 

again and again..

My eyes looking far and beyond,
My ears trying to decipher their meaning..
 

I'm tired, 

and then not..

....I've found whom I thought I lost!

Yes, the sleeping yearning awakens to shrug me again,

Follow me,....follow me, dear..

Slowly and more slowly,

Volumes turn audible, 

I sing..

but no sounds again?

I try and try..,

led by unknown colors turning brighter each day..

Yes, am coming,....coming nearer to an unknown, 

who's invisible forever..?

Love is the vehicle taking me every where, 

An unending tireless journey calls me..

I sleep his sleep, 

I drink the ecstasy his words provide me..

I touch, 

I feel, 

I imbibe those words..

They're entwined to produce a sweeter blissful melody,

every time..

Magical moments await me..

Yes, I'm drenched in a divine love,

Where pain becomes bliss, where tears provide joy..

The depths to be attained in days to come..

Never, call me back from such place, 

For I'm on my way,

Farther and farther each day..

I'm joining heavens on earth, 

Join me if you can..

But never call me.. 

For I'm on my way..

As One!

So it was you
who was whispering 
to my soul
all the way.............?
I knew.....!!!
I could see you,
without seeing through eyes..
I felt you,
without feeling with my hands..
My days and nights painted in colors of You..
My smiles rippled in the air spreading every where,
I could see you smiling in others who smiled back at me..
And I knew,
you were some where near,....very near..
The high clouds came down touching me,
Unknowingly the divine song expanded in the air 
assuring me your presence every time I heard you..
........Unbelievable!
Ages passed seemed to embrace me..
Unsure with open eyes,
Dancing in dreams,
I wandered tracing your foot steps in the air?
Whole being proclaiming eternal love of my soul to yours..
Senses mesmerized by the beauty of the garlands of words..
Every moment collected those in the basket of heart,
as if sole purpose of breaths was to take in their fragrance into me..
See, you've reached me..
I'm becoming You..
The Universe is watching us,
As one!